Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
