toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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