Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
its liver damage thursday
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
