That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
This toilet bowl is my home.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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