worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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