I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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