Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
