my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
