ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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