I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
