I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
