Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
