these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
