Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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