STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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