a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
