Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
