Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
