he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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