On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
