So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
