watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just google imaged poop.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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