u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We have so much sex to catch up on
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
