I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
