we have pet lesbian snakes
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
All I want is dick and wine.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
