I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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