yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid