Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway