Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.