the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE