How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
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you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
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Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.