So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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