8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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