I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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