Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem

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(626): View more from California

Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors

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(252): View more from North Carolina

im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note

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(623): View more from Arizona

Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?

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(303): View more from Colorado

I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes

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(757): View more from Virginia

He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

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(406): View more from Montana

Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.

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(239): View more from Florida

Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.

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