HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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