It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
