I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
