im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
