Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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