Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
false alarm, still single
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
