1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize