have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
