New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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