Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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