Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
