Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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