So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?