Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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