i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You smell like stripper and shame
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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