Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
