Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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