I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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