What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
