using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
