Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
