I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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