Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
