She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So many bounce houses so little time
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
