Cold hands, warm shart.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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