"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize