Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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