Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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